Jamaican Coffee Talk

Archive for February, 2010

St. Peters Jamaican Self Help Coffee House!
January 13th, 2010.
Quite an amazing number perfomed by very talented singers! I just tagged along and played along to it
Hope you enjoy it, because We all surely did performing it!

Duration : 0:3:18

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Technorati Tags: 2010, amazing, chill, coffee, cover, guitar, harmony, Help, Hey, house, jamaica, Live, peters, petes, Self, sister, solo, soul, SPSS, St, train, voice

two married women on a girls holiday in the caribbian
spend the night with a local young man
in the morning over acup of coffee they ask his
name
Snow he replied nice to met you
not as happy as we are ,and our husbands
wont believe we had 10 inches of snow
in Jamaica
for those not use to humour
the mans name is snow
his winkie is 10 inches
he had his way with the women
hence…….10 inches of snow in Jamaica
your right it is’nt funny but you would’nt want a bang on the head with it

Well I thought it was funny and I did not even need to read your explanation as I had worked it out for myself. Good little laugh, thanks for that one and here is a star as well.

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you.

3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and
say,"Just called to say I can’t talk right now. Bye."

4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and
grimace.

5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out,
say,"Sorry, I really prefer it this way."

6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors
open.

THREE-POINT DARES

1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled
fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all
that, I don’t want to have to repeat it."

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle
(there must be a ‘non-player’ within sight).

5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to
conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you
actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with
growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a
number two."

5) After every sentence, say ‘Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in
"The report’s on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and
mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"

At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my
witness, I’ll never go hungry again."

9) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"

10) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you
hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it’s gone now."

11) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can’t talk
about it."

12) Posing as a maitre d’, call a colleague and tell him he’s won a lunch
for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

13) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very
important conference call.

14) Hang a 2′ long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act
genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

15) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing
each biscuit with your fist.

16) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the
door.

17) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee,
move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

And if that wasn’t enough for you… How to keep a healthy level of
insanity:

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair
dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go."

3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with
that.

4) Put your waste basket on your desk and label it "IN".

5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

7) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

9) Sing along at the opera.

10) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle
sounds all day.

11) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard."

12) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time
this week!!!"

LOL!
This is one of the funniest joke lists I have ever heard!!
Thank you for making me laugh so hard!
STAR FOR YOU

(but really, did you make it up? No. Who does make this kind of stuff up?)

♥

New! With great tastes from Seattle, this gorgeous blue gift tin contains: 8oz Tully’s Espresso Blend Coffee, (2) 2.5oz Seattle Chocolates Cappucino Bars, 9oz Cougar Mountain Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookies, 7oz Emily’s Dark Chocolate Blueberries, 5.8oz Peanut Roca, 3oz Seattle Chocolate Truffles

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Home Styles Jamaican Bay Cocktail Table is constructed of wood solids and veneers in soft mahogany finish. Features easy glide drawers with woven cane inserts. Storage / display shelf on bottom and antique brass hardware. Clean line design. Size: 48 x 23 x 18 high

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Limited availability, first come first serve basis! Our 100% pure Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee packaged in a bamboo basket! What a unique way to wrap this gift! Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee is known throughout the world as one of the rarest and most expensive of all coffees. Although the rarity

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Inspired by the lunar corona this this exquisite coffee cup holds 10.14 fluid ounces of fresh Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee suspended in fine porcelain and ringed in platinum. The designer Jonas Bohlin is fascinated by the silver-white glow of the almost monochromatic corona. The Corona line is a natural phenomenon in porcelain and genuine platinum, and a beautiful attempt to capture the moon and place it on the dinner table.

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The worlds most desired coffee is grown on the eastern end of Jamaica in the Blue Mountains. Fullbodied, sweet and as smooth as silk Coffee 4 Less has the best selection of Gourmet Coffee, Coffee Pods, Coffee Beans, Ground Coffee and Coffee Machines.

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Pretty soon, I won’t be able to do anything except sit in my chair and read!

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I can’t enjoy a good Latte from Starbucks anymore because they WOULD NOT send any coffee to that poor Army Sgt who requested it. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can’t boil a cup water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face…disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan

I no longer worry about sudden cardiac arrest, since I can now cough myself back to life instead of wasting time calling 911.

I no longer have any sneakers — but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I can live a better life now because he’s told us how to fix everything.

And thanks to your great advice, I can’t ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician, who is a lawyer.

See what you do for me Miranda, I didn’t know all that stuff, now I can go on to lead a much better life. That is so much better than just questioning the sabbath thing. I think you covered it all.
Sex molesters are waiting underneath your car?
I knew I was doing something wrong. I thought we were supose to ask a girl out on a date. But we drop 5. on the parking lot and wait for them to pick it up and walla. I just have one problem with that theory. HOw can you rape someone if your under a car?
Isn’t that a little ackward. If I don’t have 144,000 friends I am going to be a hairy humper? See we need to talk I have a lot of questions about this.

Now that Uday and Qusay have been eliminated and Saddam has been captured, a lot of the lesser-known family members are coming to the attention of American authorities.Among the brothers:
Sooflay . . . the restauranteur
Guday . . . the half-Australian brother
Huray . . . the sports fanatic
Sashay . . . the gay brother
Kuntay & Kintay . . . the twins from the African mother
Sayhay . . . the baseball player
Ojay . . . the stalker/murderer
Gulay . . . the singer/entertainer
Ebay . . . the internet czar
Biliray . . . the country music star
Ecksray . . . the radiologist
Puray . . . the blender factory owner
Regay . . . the half-Jamaican brother
Tupay . . . the one with bad hair

Among the sisters:
Lattay . . . the coffee shop owner
Bufay . . . the 300 pound sister
Dushay . . . the clean sister
Phayray . . . the zoo worker in the gorilla house
Sapheway . . . the grocery store owner
Ollay . . . the half-mexican sister
Gudlay . . . the prostitute

Finally, there is Oyvey, but the family doesn’t like to talk about him

oh those are great!! starred!!!